What Mania Feels Like: My Personal Experience With Bipolar Disorder
If you’ve ever wondered what mania actually feels like, you’re not alone. Mania is often misunderstood, oversimplified, or misused in everyday language. But the lived experience is much more nuanced.
In this post, I share what mania feels like for me, how it showed up before I was officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and what I now recognize as hypomania versus full-blown mania. My hope is that this helps you feel less alone, more informed, and more empowered to notice patterns in yourself or someone you love.
Understanding Mania Through Lived Experience
Before I was diagnosed, I didn’t know what mania looked like in my own body. But I believe now, that it was always there. That bipolar disorder didn’t suddenly appear one day. I was born with it! And after my hospitalization and diagnosis in 2018 I looked back on the previous decade of my life and recognized what I call ‘blips’ or periods of hypomania (maybe even mania) and low level depression.
Mania doesn’t always look dramatic from the outside. Often, it looks like productivity, confidence, and momentum … until it doesn’t.
“It all felt normal to me—just sped up.”
Early Signs of Mania: When Things Start to Ramp Up
For me, mania started quietly. There was a six-day ramp-up period before my hospitalization that I didn’t recognize at the time.
Some of the earliest signs included:
Sleeping less and less (eventually 1–2 hours a night)
Feeling energized despite exhaustion
Rapid thoughts that felt productive and coherent
Taking on multiple projects at once
Losing track of basic needs like eating and drinking water
Because I had spent years sleeping only 4–5 hours a night, sleep deprivation didn’t initially register as a red flag. It felt normal! Until it wasn’t.
What Mania Feels Like in My Body and Mind
As mania intensified, it became physical as well as mental.
For me, mania feels like:
Adrenaline constantly pumping
A buzzing or vibrating sensation in my body
Thoughts moving faster than I can track
Talking more, and faster, than usual
Feeling like everything is aligning
“Inside my head, it felt like everything was finally making sense.”
This is where mania can be especially tricky. The ideas themselves may be logical—but the speed, intensity, and lack of pause is what makes it unsustainable and dangerous.
Manic Spending and Decision-Making
One of the clearest signs of my mania was spending money I didn’t have.
During that 2018 episode, I:
Bought a brand-new MacBook while in credit card debt
Purchased a new iPhone even though my old one worked
Believed I needed these tools to succeed
Looking back, I didn’t need any of it. Mania convinced me that the end goal justified the means. Spending $2500 in 30 minutes didn’t register to me as alarming, but it started raising flags to those around me.
“Mania isn’t about whether something is possible—it’s about losing perspective.”
Looking Back: Hypomania Before My Diagnosis
After my bipolar disorder diagnosis, I could suddenly see patterns in my past—especially during big life transitions.
A Hypomanic Example: Moving to San Francisco
In my mid-20s, I impulsively moved to San Francisco for a job that paid the same as my Midwest salary, despite drastically higher living costs.
At the time, it felt bold and confident. In hindsight, it was likely hypomanic decision-making, layered with privilege and optimism.
Would I change it? No.
Would I recognize the signs now? Absolutely.
Learning to Spot Mania After Diagnosis
Since my diagnosis, I’ve learned that stressful life events, like moving, can trigger hypomania. Unfortunately, exciting events can too.
Now, I look for patterns like:
Lack of sleep (often, the first thing to go)
Constant mental overdrive
Difficulty slowing down
Skipping meals unintentionally
Needing reminders to pause and breathe
I’m incredibly grateful for family members who feel comfortable saying, “Have you eaten today?” or “You’re going a mile a minute.”
That kind of support matters more than you know.
Mania vs. Being Human
Not every intense emotion means mania.
This is something my therapist reminds me often—and it’s important.
Frustration can be situational
Excitement doesn’t always equal hypomania
Energy doesn’t automatically mean imbalance
Self-awareness is helpful. Hyper-vigilance isn’t.
Why Language Around Mania Matters
One thing I want to name clearly: language shapes stigma.
Phrases like:
“The weather is so bipolar”
“She was acting totally manic”
…can invalidate real experiences and discourage people from opening up.
Instead of saying someone is bipolar, try:
“They have bipolar disorder”
“They’re living with bipolar”
“They’re managing bipolar disorder”
Small shifts in language make a big difference.
Recommended Resource for Understanding Bipolar Disorder
One of the most impactful resources I was introduced to during treatment was the book, Taking Charge of Bipolar Disorder (A 4-step plan for you and your loved ones to manage the illness and create lasting stability) by Julie Fast, who combines lived experience with clinical insight.
Her work explains:
How bipolar disorder affects the brain
Lifestyle strategies for stability
How friends and family can offer meaningful support
If you’re newly diagnosed, supporting someone through the process, or simply curious, it’s an incredibly grounding place to start.
What Mania Feels Like for Me (In Summary)
Mania, in my experience, looks like:
Lack of sleep
Rapid thoughts and speech
Elevated confidence
Impulsive spending
Feeling like everything is connected
Eventually, losing touch with reality
Your experience may be different—and that’s okay. Feel free to share if you’re comfortable, or reach out to me directly at emily@bipolarbroughtbalance.com
I’m also sharing these experiences on the new Bipolar Brought Balance YouTube, so please subscribe and share with someone who might find it helpful.
CONCLUSION / TAKEAWAYS
Mania isn’t always obvious. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it feels productive. And sometimes, it quietly crosses a line before you realize what’s happening.
Understanding your own patterns, and asking for support, isn’t something to fear. It’s a form of self-trust and growth.
PERSONAL REFLECTION / CTA
If any part of this resonated with you, you’re not alone.
If you’re noticing patterns and feeling unsure, reaching out to a professional can be a powerful first step.
And if you’re comfortable, I’d love to hear from you—whether your experience with mania looks similar or completely different.
You can leave a comment, subscribe on YouTube, or email me directly at Emily@BipolarBroughtBalance.com.
